GONE.

They are gone.  We finally took the leap, which feels more like a dive into the deep dark trenches of parenthood.

She is making motor boat sounds with her little Binky-less mouth now in the crib.  This after an hour of crying and asking where the "bubees" are.  Now and then desperate cries for "Mama" or "Dada" fill the speakers of the monitor that lies on my dresser.  When the red lights fill to their maximum my heart breaks for my girl who doesn't really understand.

I always thought getting rid of the Binky would be easy.  I had listened to stories about friends who had done it and it didn't really seem that bad.  After all, they can't walk around with Binkies forever.

I called my folks for consolation and guidance like I always do.  It didn't help when their advice was "Oh, just give them to her.  How can you stand to hear her cry?  Poor girl."  Those were my feelings exactly!

It is going to be a long night.

She did so well this evening when we told her to retrieve them from her room so we could pitch them into the garbage.  She happily made her way down the stairs with three Binkies in her little hands.  She seemed to understand when we told her that she was a big girl now and big girls don't use Binkies.

She didn't hesitate when we told her to throw them away.  She didn't flinch when she saw her beloved binkies  fall into the heap of trash in the bottom of the can.  But...who could resist being so brave with the attention of her big sister watching.

Bye, bye binkies and thank you for your many months of service to our little babe.

On our last trip to her room this evening, she looked up at us with tears in her eyes and streaming down her red puffy face and said, "Ahh Don."  She then quietly laid down.

I never dreamed this would be so hard.  All these decisions that lay on our hearts as parents consume so much.

I will remember this night forever.